Forbidden Fire
by DarkTaoAngel
Summary: Hiei, badly wounded from battle, escapes narrowly, loosing only his sight. But when the opportunity to finally meet his sister for the first time, will his inability to see ruin it all for him?
1. Blinded by the Light

DarkTaoAngel: This is my first Yu Yu Hakusho fanfiction, and so it may be a bit amateur. I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, this is merely a fan's story. Please review, and I will update regularily!

I woke from my previous state of unconsciousness, in a room quite unfamiliar to me. I opened my eyes, but could see nothing in the bright light above me. I tried to sit up, but the pain was far too much for me, and I ended up laying back down on my bed again anyway. I could hear some voices, and though they were slightly familar to me, I was temporarily oblivious to anything around me.

I could not remember exactly what had happened before I had come here, but there was a fight, and I was participating in it. _Yes, _I thought_, it was the tournament that I was in. So, where am I now? And where is everybody else?_ I looked around, but the light was still to bright to see anyhting through. I rubbed my eyes slightly to see if that would help, but it did not. I fought hard to sit up, and got partially upright, but the pain was still seering. _I feel awful; what could have done this much to me? I almost never get hurt, and certainly never this badly. _

I gritted my teeth against the pain and fell back down again. I heard the shuffling of footsteps nearby, and knew that someone was coming in this room. _But, what is this room?And why is it so bright in here?_

"Hey, Hiei! You're already up, huh? I thought that hit would have kept you down for much longer than this. Persistant as always, I see."

"Quite. I would have thought the same thing, had I not known him as well as I do."

Though I did not have the energy to look up at his face, I knew that the first person to speak was Yusuke, second, Kurama. I should have known that they would be here, wherever here is.

"Arg, where are we? How long have I been out for?" I asked, leaning against the backboard of the bed I was in and trying once again to sit up.

"Whoa, no you don't! You aren't supposed to even try to get up for quite a while now." Yusuke said, pushing me back down onto the bed and making sure that I stayed down before backing away slightly.

"And as for where we are," Kurama finished for Yusuke, "we are in a hospital. It appears that your fight in the tournament left you in quite bad condition."

I sighed a bit and leaned back in a more comfortable position. I crossed my arms and was about to ask Yusuke and Kurama what the deal was with the overly-bright light, but I heard them start to talk as well. Though they were whispering, more than likely to make sure that I did not overhear what they were saying, I could hear every word they spoke.

"Should we tell him now?" Kurama asked Yusuke, the tone in his voice was that of concern.

"No," Yusuke said, his voice was much different, almost the same as Kurama's, though a bit more calm, "he will have to find out eventually, but, until then, let's jsut pretend that nothing's wrong, maybe he'll belive it for a while."

"Well, alright, but we will have to eventually, he needs to know, from us, rather than anyone else." Kurama spoke, and I knew something was definatly wrong. They were talking about me, and it was nothing good either.

"Know _what_, exactly?" I said, the temper in my voice rising as opened my eyes fully to look at them and see what the expressions on their faces were. But something was wrong, the light could not have done this much. No, this was different, I could see nothing at all, not even a bit of color in the room. The other two seemed to have sensed that I knew something, for they came over to me and tried to calm me down, but I just pushed them both away, shouting this time, "What is going on? What are you trying to keep from me? And why is it that I can not see anything? What is going on? Hold on, wait a minute,you do not mean... I am not _blind_, am I?"


	2. Jagan Removal Spell

I waited to hear them say that I was going to be fine, and that my vision was perfectly normal, but when no answer came, I began to get a bit worried. So, this was what they were keeping from me? Who do they think I am, to think that I could not handle something as minimally problimatic as this most certainly was. But, on the other hand, this could be perminate, and I would not be able to go back in the tournament for quite some time now. I would have to train harder than I ever had before; and worst of all, I would never get to see _her_. Though I have seen her before, just before the tournament even started, this would be different. I wanted to meet her, before it's too late, but now that would be a lot more difficult. I would never truly see her, not as my sister anyway. _Yukina._

"Listen, Hiei, there is a slight chance you may get to see again, with a bit more time on your account. I just do not want you to take it too terribly hard, after all-" Kurama started, but I quickly cut him off.

"It's alright. I will be fine, I just need some time, like you said. You two," I pointed to the general area that I thought them to be standing in, "you do not, by any means, have to stay here. You may leave if you wish." And sure enough, perhaps because they knew that my anger had reached an all time high, the two of them exited the room, leaving me completely alone.

_Good_,I thought, _now I have no more aggrievances present in this room. I can finally be alone to gather my thoughts._

I was beginning to get a headache, more than likely because of the yelling I had done, that and the fight I had endured not too long ago, whenever it had been. The truth was, I had absolutely no idea as to what the date was, or even what state I was in. It was almost as though I was lost, and I had just pushed out my only way of finding a way out.

I reached up to gently rub my forehead, careful, as always, not to touch my sensitive jagan eye. But something was different this time, I could not feel the presence of my third eye any longer. I rubbed harder, not caring anymore if I got hurt, but still, there was nothing. No pain. No jagan eye. It was gone.

I wondered what had happened, and why it had happened in the first place. It had been quite a long time since I had no third eye, before I had gotten it put in. I could hardly remember it at all. But why, why did it all of a sudden leave now?

What was going on here? I could understand nothing, and it was then that I first felt the most lonely. I had never had the need to depend upon people, but I felt as though no one was around for me when I most needed it, which I would never admit to anyone, but I was constantly feeling it.

"It appears that your eye, your jagan one, was diffused during your battle. It must have been from a spell, in which case, the spellcastor would have to fix. I checked into it all, and as it seems, the castor was killed shortly after you arrived here yourself." My heartbeat sped up a pace, and I almost jumped. Kurama had scared me for a moment there, I did not know that he was still in the room.

"Wha- How did you- Were you in here the whole time?" I asked him, unable to fully register all that he had said in such a short time, which left my words slightly jumbled as I spoke to him.

"Yes, I was. And don't worry, Yusuke is not here, he left for a while, as will I after I see that you know all that is needed. As I was saying, your sight was virtually dependant upon your jagan eye for the past years, and removing it naturally removed your sight. I will give you a while to let this all sink in, I know how hard this can be for you. I'll be back later to check in on you" And after that all I could here was Kurama's footsteps as he promptly left the room. I listened hard to whether or not he was still there, but all was silent; he was gone, leaving me, once again, alone.


	3. Complications

I could here the doctors in the next room, talking to Kurama, who had recently stopped by, _again, _to check on me. I assumed that they were talking about pills and things that I should take when I got home, and perhaps they thought that Kurama was the right one to tell it all to. After all, he _had_ volunteered to look after me for a while to insure my safety, as though I was a child! I could take care of myself, as I had constantly told him, and countlessly repeated to myself day after day.

I had no way of knowing what time of day it was, or even _what _day it was, and so Kurama helped me with that from time to time. As it turned out, it was just over two weeks after the tournament fight that had gotten me here had ended.

I did know one thing, however. I was in Demon World, judging by the voices of the doctors, and how calmly they always talked about my being a demon myself. That and the fact that, when anyone visits me, they feel completely safe to talk about the Demon and Spirit worlds when the nurses and doctors are around. It did not bother me at all, it just meant that this was a bit more _trustworthy_ of a hospital compaired to any regular _human_ hospital.

I found myself listening back in on their conversation, having nothing better to do at the time. There was _nothing _to do in this place! And to make matters worse, there was no one to talk to except Yusuke and Kurama! If I ever got out of here, I would probably have gone insane before I even got back home; speaking of which, I don't even have a home to go back to. I do hope that Kurama does not expect me to live over at his place, I don't even _want_ to know where he lives.

The doctor was speaking again, and so I listened a bit more intently as he spoke. I fully surprised me what he said, and I knew then why he did not want to say any of it to me. "Well, Mr.Minamino, that is the least of our worries now. As it seems, your friend was hurt more badly by the removal of that third eye of his than we thought. Not only will there be some complications, but it could be much worse than we had ever thougth. I do not know how to put this, but, your friend is at risk of dying."


	4. Hidden Feelings

I could not believe what I had heard; I would not have believed it had it not been for the fact that I had just heard it from the doctor, and coming from such a person, it had to be true. No one would ever lie about something as serious as that.

The hardest thing to bare was that it had all come from the removal of something that I had kept for so many years. My third eye; I would never have imagined that it could have been the cause of all this. There was onyl one explanation for it, and that was that all these years it had been absorbing my energy, and I just did not know it. I was getting weaker every day that I had it, and I did not know. It was hard to face that I had been dying all this time, and something could have been done about it. But now it was too late, much too late, to fix it.

Kurama and the doctor continued to talk, but I did not hear another word of it. I blocked it out on purpose. I did not want to hear what they said any longer, it was already too much, and any more would be unbearable for me to hear.

I leaned back in my hospital bed, feeling as though I was going to be sick. I was cold and the shock of it all was just beginning to settle in on me. I was too young to have this happen to me. Although I did not act like it, I still had so many things that I still had to accomplish, so many unfinished tasks to complete. I was going to die, but I was not yetdone living, far from it acually.

I almost forgot that Kurama was still here, he had come in to visit me again, until he had finished speaking with the doctor, and had come back into my room. He still did not know that I had overheard his conversation, but judging by my pale complection and lack of any good insults, it was pretty obvious that I had. He did not say anything, and I could tell, although I still could not see him, or anything else, that he was still in shock as well.

I had done so many wrong things, and I knew that I did not have enough time in my life to be forgiven for them all, but there was one thing that I could do now, that would make up for so many lost years. It was the only thing that mattered to me at the time, and I knew in my heart that, after this, I would have accomplished all that truly mattered to me, and I would be as ready as I ever would be to face what was coming. To move on, I knew that I had to finally meet _her_.

"Kurama," I said, my voice shaky and raspy, and I was barely able to get out the words for what I intended to say, "I-I think that it is t-time that I finally meet her. I am ready to meet my s-sister now."

I heard Kurama shuffle his feet and gulp a bit as he too fought to voice what to say. This must have been almost as hard for him as it was for me, having to soon say goodbye to a friend. It was a while, but he finally spoke, his tone of voice almost as bad as mine was.

"Y-yes, I think that as well. I will find her and br-ring her to you. T-tomorrow, I promise." And with that, he left the room, his footsteps echoing in the hall.

I would never admit to anyone, but although I had lived most of my life pretending to be tough, and not showing any emotions through, the way I had once lived was all a lie. Hiding my feelings, living as though nothing ever mattered and ever would, was just not me. I had always had feelings, especially now.

I felt as small tear form in my eye, and not long after, another one. I was, for the first time in my life, truly afraid. I was afraid of what was going to happen to me; I was afraid of facing death.

I buried my face in my sheets, hiding myself from the world, and cried. I just wanted to isolate myself from the world, from everything, in a place where nothing had ever happened, where I was never injured in the first place. It was the effect of not showing any emotion, and now it was all coming out. I soon fell asleep, crying again, in the comfort of my dreams, which were my only reprive.


	5. Last Chance, Too Late?

I woke up the next day, not having any idea of what time it was. I could hear no presence in the room, so I assumed that I was alone. To tell the truth, I felt sick. Worse than I even had felt in my life, and I was not sure if it was because of all of my crying during the night, my fear of death, or both. I knew that death was not that big of a deal, I had been close to it many times, so it was not as though I was afraid because it was the unknown. But I had to admit it to myself, as I lay there for what seemed like weeks but was only a few minutes, that I was afraid, not of where I was going, but for what I was leaving behind. I had just found a place in which I belonged, with friends, people who acually cared whether I died or not, and I was reluctant to leave. I had regrets, things left to do, to live for, and to leave all of that behind as though it did not matter, was not the sort of thing I would like to do. But I had no choice, so I wanted to at least get one last thing in before I was gone forever; I knew I had to see her, meet her, my sister.

Kurama had said that he would find her and bring her to visit me today, but I was still uneasy about it all. I did not feel ready to meet her so soon, on such short notice, and especially in the condition I was in. I did not want to be ill and in a hospital when at last I got to meet her, and now that I had no sight, I could not see her either. And to make matters worse, just less than an hour after I had awoke, I heard Kurama's voice from just outside of my door, and I also heard a soft female voice answer... it was her, Yukina.

I heard two sets of footsteps entering my room, and I quickly strained my ears to hear what they were saying. I knew that Yukina was surprised to see that this was her brother, because we had met before, although she did not know who I was, it was not the best of first meetings. I blinked a bit, hoping against all odds that I would get to see, just this one time, so that I may see her smiling face, before I could see no more. But nothing, my wish was not to be granted. I wanted to reach out to her, but I had not stood up in so long, and I did not even know if I _could_ stand anymore. I might not be able to use my legs anymore either, but it did not matter, I would be dead not long from now anyway.

I listened intently, wanting to hear her say something, as I did not want to have to speak first and say the wrong thing; my people skills were not exactly the best, and I had no idea of what she liked, so I did not know what to say to her. I stayed silent, and for a moment, so did she. But then she burst out in tears, which I could hear because of the clattering of crystal jewels falling to the ground. I was about to ask her what was wrong, and tell her to stop crying, but she spoke first, in a firm yet shaky voice.

"Why did you not come looking for me? I tried to find you, but you did not even make the effort! You knew where I was, so why didn't you tell me who you were... Who are you... really?" I could hear her stop crying slightly, and I could tell that she was not angry, just dissapointed with me. And I also knew what she wanted me to tell her, that the word of my being a criminal was all a lie, but that I could not tell her... it would not have been the truth.

I sat up and started to tell her the truth, but almost immediatly I felt a sharp pain worse than a thousand knives stab through me, as though I was on fire. I tried as best I could to fight it off, but the pain caused me to fall back and clutch my stomach, feeling as though I was going to be terribly ill.

I fell out of consiousness soon after, and the last thing I heard before drifting off into a sleep that I was sure was going to last an eternity, was my sister's sweet voice, calling out to me, saying my name.


	6. Sacrifices: A New Life

**This will most likely be the last chapter, though if you like it I will write more, perhaps a sequel. Please review, because I am beginning to think no one likes this story, and I for one think it is great! Give me some ideas, and I am trying to work on those I already have, too! Thanks... R&R!**

I awoke the next morning, or what I thought must have been some time the next day, to hear the sound of a door closing shut. I was sure that I was never going to wake up, so it was a surprise to me that I was feeling better than I had been in a while. But somehow, as I listened, not even bothering to open my eyes, something I knew felt different. The atmosphere had changed slightly, and who should arrive within a few minutes to answer my undying questions but the fox demon Kurama. But I almost welcomed him this time, wanting a familiar presence as I wondered out loud what had happened recently.

As Kurama arrived, out of instinct or habit perhaps, my eyes jolted open. I knew I could not see so I did not bother at first to adjust my eyes to the light. But something blurry in front of me came into focus all of a sudden, and I realized, almost right away, that I could see! I was unsure of why I could, but Kurama was sure to inform me soon.

I looked to the fox, finally able to, after so long, see him, standing by my door. The look on his face was not a happy one, but one filled with sadness. The room was different as well, almost lonely looking. I scanned the room with my eyes, seeing that I was laying on a table-like bed in the middle of a room surrounded by curtains. I gave Kurama a bit of a questioning look, and he began to speak, answering all of my questions as I merely listened intently.

"Yes, as I am sure you have discovered, you can see now. You have your sister to thank for that, and also for you being alive right now. You would have most surely died from your condition had she not become a donor at the last moment. Now that you can see, would you like to see her?" Kurama asked, looking away from me slightly. I did not see why he was so sad looking, I was alright, and so was my sister, so what was there to be worried about?

I slid over to the side of my bed, stepping off slowly and carefully, knowing that I had not walked in quite some time. Kurama came to my side and helped me up, and once I was on my feet it was easy to walk from there. Kurama let go of me and I slowly made my way to the side of the room and past the curtain on my left. Yukina was said to be on that side, and I was looking forward to seeing her at long last.

I saw her right next to the curtain, her bed positioned close to mine, only on the opposite side of the curtain. Her eyes were closed, so she was obviously sleeping. I did not wish to wake her, but I did want to get a closer look at her. I made my way over to her bed, limping a bit due to the fact that one of my legs had become increasingly sore as I moved.

The first thing I saw was her hair, blue mixed with green. She was much prettier now than before, or at least to me, perhaps because now I could see her as more of a sister. What she had done for me I still do not understand, but I know that I would have done the same for her.

I reached out my hand and touched hers, hoping to feel smooth, soft skin. But what I felt shocked me, and sent me into a nightmare unlike reality, though so real to me. Her skin was cold to the touch, and it was also very pale, as though she had not eaten or even breathed for days. I felt her pulse, or at least I would have, but there was none to feel.

I shock settled in as my eyes widened and I knew why Kurama was so sad earlier. She was dead, and he had known all along. She had killed herself for me, even though she knew what she was doing, and who she was helping to live, she still made the sacrifice.

I was allowed out of the hospital the next day, and my sister was to be buried that day as well. I was to be there to see her off, but I did not show, not entirely. No one knew that I was hiding out in the trees, for I did not want any of the people there to see me cry again. I had broken down many times that day, but none more than I did as they lay her body down under the earth. I did not want them to take her away, I wanted her here. But she was never meant to be with her brother, Heaven needed her more than I did now.

I had never had the luck to get through life easily, I never will either. Some things were never meant to happen in my life, where as others were. She was not supposed to meet me, not really, and so she was taken away. It is as though I am forbidden, like fire, where no one wants to be arround me, and everyone who does must leave quickly. Yes... I am forbidden from living a happy life, with everyone I loved or ever have, for one way or another, they all leave me in the end. I live a forbidden life, and a never-ending, almost forbidden, death will come, though not soon enough, for that would ease my pain. My pain must never come to an end; that is the price to pay, as I am the forbidden fire child. I am the Forbidden Fire.


End file.
